Orochimaru kun
by chinsui-hime
Summary: Orochimaru and his fiancee,Uchiha Sasuke have a lovers' spat .. of sorts... when the Sannin is caught snogging the other Uchiha. yaoi, fluffyness, sap, humor, parody. REVIEW !
1. Orochimaru kun:1

Title: Orochimaru, you filthy slut!!!

Pairings: OROxSASU

Warnings: pussywipped!orochimaru, whoring!itachi, prissy! Sasuke

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Naruto or any characters, this story is fan fiction and is only for my perverse pleasure , and not for any monetary gain.

"I cant believe you just did that! " He shouted shoving his way through the room door, frustrated and incredibly sexy boyfriend in tow.

"b-but ..baby." he began , with a stutter

"don't baby me, you bastard.. How could you !?" he questioned angrily,

"But he kissed me, love, I swear it please believe me" the other pleaded pitifully

"How can I , first you said you were going to see Tsunade about our wedding, but instead I find you by the flower shop with that bitch's tongue down your throat. You slut! "He accused running to the bedroom , slamming the door, before his howls and sobs and curses could be heard.

"But Suke-kun, itachi and I are just friends!" He shouted after him

Orochimaru sat on the couch, his head hung in his hands and thought// you've got to be kidding me//

Sasuke uchiha lay on Orochimaru and his shared bed, hiccupping softly, disappointment shining in his watery mismatched eyes. And thought maybe, doesn't think I'm sexy anymore, maybe he wants something new in our relationship, maybe I need to obliterate my clan, or be taller, or something. Maybe I shouldn't be so demanding. Maybe its _my_ fault he was playing tonsil hockey with my older brother, or maybe not.

With a sigh that turned in to a whimper that turned into a sob that evolved in a full fledged wail, the uchiha started to cry all over again.

His loud keens of displeasure sounded through the halls , and everyone in sound village could here him.

The students and the other shinobi there all knew and accepted Sasuke and Orochimaru-sama' s relationship. Also they knew the uchiha was _very _sensitive , and that the snake man was _very **insensitive ,**_

So the boy was always brooding or crying or yelling at the sannin, but they were too accustomed with them to be shocked, or even bothered.

Orochimaru charily edged his way down the corridor to his suke-kun's room, trying with some difficulty to mask his chakra, Sasuke has always been able to easily sense his presence , he mused.

"Suke-kun please forgive , I swear it wasn't my fault". He pleaded with a whine

"No!" came the stubborn reply, Orochi was almost positive that Sasuke was pouting on the other side of this door, he mused again, but this time at how he could read Sasuke's moods easily, sometimes. And this skill proved to be very inconvenient or very convenient ( authoress : waggles brows suggestively )

As soon as he raised his fist to knock, someone knocked at the door, Orochi sighed and opened it,

Revealing naught other than the older uchiha , who immediately threw himself atop the stunned sannin , and proceeded to snog him passionately , cooing" Orochi -sama …make love to me.., make me feel… give it to me hard and fast "

Orochimaru sweatdropped hard, but recovered and placed a hand on itachi' s bony hip and one hand on his muscled chest , and began to push him off, when Sasuke decided to open the door, to find his fiancée and his brother writhing against each other on the sofa; the sofa where he and Orochimaru made out on many times before, the forgiving smile that adorned Sasuke's face , fell fast and hard, his lips settling into a grim line, and the vein in his forehead started to twitch erratically.

Orochimaru groaned pitifully, itachi waved to the immobile Sasuke and said " hello my weak little brother, I'm just showing Orochimaru sama, what a real fuck feels like , ne orochi-sama?" , nuzzling into the petrified man.

There was that ugly , uncomfortable feeling of expecting the worst , for a few minutes, as the only sounds that were heard were those of itachi' s wet slurps and licks along Orochimaru' s neck and jaw.

"I'm going back to naruto, I never should have left him", Sasuke stated in a monotonous voice, harsh, capped , cold like an icy tundra.

"You cant leave me , Sasuke" he informed .

"Why ?"

"Because I love you "he said, shoving the heavily protesting elder uchiha off of him, " remember we were going to get married ?" he asked tentatively already not wanting to know the answer.

"No we aren't " he denied,

"Why the fuck not?!" Orochi exclaimed

"Because it seems to be too many people in our relationship, soon you'll be confessing that you slept with kabuto, or sakkon, or even tayuya ."

The sannin looked sheepish, and directed all his skill and cunning at inspecting a spot on his shoe.

The vein in Sasuke's brow twitched in overtime now, and Orochimaru knew that the boy was going to blow.

And before either itachi or him could comprehend , the curse seal activated and Sasuke' s body was riddled with the black marks,

Itachi who had been sitting on the sofa this entire time in a huff, pouting and sighing, smelled the danger and got out of the room as quickly as only a powerful uchiha can. Leaving Orochimaru to fend for himself

Later…much later…..

"I finally decide how you can make it up to me." Sasuke offered, he was sitting where the sofa used to be, the room was completely destroyed, little banks of fire burned brightly all over the place.

Orochimaru's er..heart ..fluttered with nascent hope and sunk with dread of the unexpected.

"Er.. What is it suke-kun?" The sannin asked warily

"We can stay in konoha for our honeymoon." sasuke said cheerfully, gargantuan smile adornig his face, obviously impressed with himself.

Thud!

Orochi -kun wake up!


	2. Orochimaru kun:2

Title: Orochimaru-kun-2- the wedding , the guests and the reception.

Author:chinsui-hime

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: Orochimaru x sasuke

Summary: the follow up to Orochimaru-kun, they finally get married in konoha.

Disclaimer: unfortunately I don't own any of the characters in this fic they belong to the lucky bastards that created Naruto. I'm just using them for my perverted pleasure and fun.

Authors notes & Warnings: shounen-ai. Lime.

Another horrible day in sound village ,

Orochimaru sat at his throne and wondered when had he become such a henpecked domesticated little wimp, he was a sannin for, kami sake, he was powerful and he was older AND taller than the uchiha .

That little shit needed to be put in his place, he resolved with determination

Before shuffling off, grumbling about prissy uchihas turned housewife.

in konohagakurethe wedding

"I now pronounce you myouto , you may kiss the bri-- er, whatever, you figure it out." Tsunade stumbled, catching Sasuke's glare ,as she officiated at their wedding.

Sasuke threw himself on the sannin, kissing him deeply to the oohs and ahhs of awe and disgust of the crowd that had gathered for their wedding, the guest were quite a few,

On Sasuke's side was konoha, everyone, and on Orochimaru's side the entire Sound village and the Akatsuki.

The church was decorated beautifully, black and deep crimson to match with their kimono's .

Sasuke's hair was managed , to be held back with jeweled clips he had from his mother ,he'd decided to walk for himself and although many offered to give him away, he rejected their offers. There were no bridesmaids, no flower girls, no best men and maid of honor

Just Orochimaru and Sasuke .

It was smooth, without a hitch, until the I do part, when it was Orochimaru's turn , the combined glares of all the revealed kunais from the guests from both side, hastily erased all thoughts of saying no.

Sasuke glimpsed Naruto and his husband shikamaru from the corner of his eye. They were smiling at each other, clearly in love with each other, the way their hands were entwined in the Nara's lap, an the jounin was even kissing his cheek.. Orochi never does that !

Sasuke felt himself being led down the aisle , toward the reception area, pout firmly in place.

the reception

It was bedlam, Akatsuki members in a drunken array, tayuya and sakkon fighting about who was a better lay for Orochimaru, several drunken clones of Naruto were making on out the bar top. Jiraiya and kakashi were whispering in a corner, creepy.

Drinks and food flowed freely, all the guests were smiling. jutsus abounded unheeded.

And where was the groom and the groom you ask?

Hidden in the coat room, Sasuke's back against the hard wall as Orochimaru pumped manfully away between his legs, yanking roughly on his dick in an effort to bring him off quickly .

"oh! orochi-koi !" Sasuke exclaimed with a squeak as the sannin found and tackled his prostate. His left leg was hooked under at the knees, by Orochimaru and was flailing at the ferocity of their coupling, the other hooked around Orochimaru's naked waist.

"uh yeah Suke kun , scream " orochi urged, poking Sasuke's prostate forcefully with the blunt tip of his cock.

And screamed Sasuke did, before the rest was swallowed by his new husband's mouth, his extremely talented tongue doing all the things he liked, they played tongue hockey a while longer before Orochimaru pulled out of Sasuke with a wet squelch , allowing the semen unhindered to trail down his thighs in pearly trails.

Orochi stepped back and took in the view that his lover made, leaned against the wall, his wine red kimono bunched up around his waist, the neck falling over his shoulder sexily, eyes closed, kiss swollen lips slightly opened taking shallow breaths, his hair mussed , and cum pooling at his feet, he looked so … debauched.

"you are so beautiful Suke-kun " the sannin commented , causing the young man to open his eyes.

And slinked to the ground on his knees, and crawled to Orochimaru' s feet, wrapping his arms about his waist, looking up into his eyes.

"I cant believe we're actually married" Sasuke said, seeming bewildered.

Orochi hand caressed his face, brushing his thumb across the boys face in tender moment , before urging him up , and began to straighten their clothing, taking a random coat off of a rack and proceeded to wipe the semen off of both of them, before dropping it to the floor.

"come on, lets get out of here , this party has gone to the dogs"

Sasuke peered out into the reception area to see, sakkon and tayuya fighting on the wedding cake, icing was everywhere.

He quickly grabbed orochi's hand and let him in the direction of the carriage,

"I've changed my mind, were not staying in this place for two weeks, lets go home "

And orochi agreed wholeheartedly, nodding eagerly, keen to leave as well.

They hobbled in to the carriage and were of into the general direction of Sound village.

"I cant wait to get home with you", Sasuke said , he was astride orochi's lap, nuzzling his face into his hair, licking and nibbling along the column of the sannin's throat.

"Yeah me neither " replied orochi absentmindedly , his hands caressing the expanse of thigh that was exposed from his husbands ridden up kimono .

"Ooh orochi kun.. Tell me , that you love me" Sasuke moaned ,undulating his hips.

"I love you Suke- kun ", he placated, kissing his spouse tenderly

"Tell me that you love.. Only…me" Sasuke ordered , scraping his nails along the sannin's arms, biting his neck hard, leaving red splotches and teeth marks as evidence of possession

" Fuck..yeah..suke-kun.. Only….you." orochi breathed raggedly, loving the pain inflicted on his body.

"oh..so you do wanna fuck me" he teased, grinding his supple little body against orochi's wooden erection that poked against his ass seeking entry. "you do know I'm a married man, and my husband can be very possessive sometimes"

Sasuke towered over orochi, and slid his kimono sensually over his pale shoulders ,

Exposing his chest and then his hardened dusky claret nipples, which he than began to play with , wetting his fingers with a flicker of pink tongue , he squeezed and pinched them roughly, humping his hard prick against the sannin.

"touch me orochi. Fucking touch me. ..I'm so close" Sasuke cursed,

Orochimaru quickly fumbled through Sasuke's clothing , and freed his cock , grasping the leaking appendage in his hand before jerking roughly, again and again , until he found himself with a face full of spunk and his arms filled by his panting husband.

"I cant wait to get you under me tonight, you wont walk for weeks" Sasuke promised in a breathy voice.

Thump!

"orochi- koi ?"

Love it ? Hate it? Want me to continue ? Review me.

Constructive criticism welcome, and maybe slight flames.


	3. Orochimaru kun:3

Title: Orochimaru-kun 3

Pairings: OROxSASU

Warnings: pussywipped!orochimaru, OOCprissy! Sasuke

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Naruto or any characters, this story is fan fiction and is only for my perverse pleasure , and not for any monetary gain.

Chapter 3- Expanding the family

* * *

They cuddled in the afterglow, sated and content with their lives until the smaller one spoke.

"Orochi -koi ?" Sasuke asked

"Yesss, Sasuke" hissed the sannin

"Have you ever thought about children?"

"Er.. No"

"Not even with me?" Sasuke asked ,

The snake ignored this and continued

" don't know if you've realized, we are both male ,love, meaning neither of us can carry" he explained.

This was a lie of course, he knew the jutsu to do it, if he hadn't what self respecting sannin would he be.

"why the sudden interest in offspring ,eh ?" asked Orochi suspiciously,

"nothing, I just thought that it might be wonderful, if we had children"

The sannin sighed.

" now, why would two homicidal individuals bent on domination and power, even think about raising a child into the world we are trying so hard to destroy" the sannin reasoned.

"so, you've never thought of seeing miniature versions of Orochimaru-kun , running about the place calling you , Tou-san?"

" I was a creepy looking child, why would I want to inflict that curse upon some unsuspecting infant

"but-"

"leave it, Sasuke" the sannin ordered and rolled away.

Sasuke knew that Orochimaru was upset but he really didn't care, he slid out of the bed and took up his pillow, ignoring the heavy sigh that the man made and walked out of the bedroom. The Uchiha went and lay on the sofa, for a total of five minutes , before trudging into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, Sasuke shivered at the cold, bare but for a pair of black boxers. He found piece of cake and made himself comfortable on one of the tall stools at the kitchen counter.

He was well into his slice of cake ,when arms suddenly surrounded him and pulled him back against a cool chest. He sighed in contentment and ran his finger through the icing on the plate, he raised the finger to the other man

" truce"

The sannin sucked the finger into his mouth , and swallowed around it before releasing it.

"didn't mean to be so rough" the sannin apologized.

"Its okay, I didn't think you'd want to have kids " the 'with me' hung in the air, unspoken.

Orochimaru spun the stool around and faced the young man before him.

"Suke- kun, having children is a important responsibility, its not like deciding you wanted Tayuya and Sakkon beheaded or you sending kabuto away'

Sasuke blushed and nodded his head,

"tell me why you want to have a child so much?"

"I " Sasuke began ,but buried his face in the sannin throat

"Sasuke?"

"I'm just so jealous, I see everyone around you, and some of them are prettier and more powerful than I am, and I'm afraid that one day you'd just, tell me to pack my stuff up and go back to konoha. If we had a child, maybe that would have-"Sasuke faltered, tears coursing his face

"oh, I'm so sorry"

"its okay, I'm just being stupid".

"let's just go back to bed okay" the sannin offered, leading Sasuke back to their bedroom.

As Sasuke snuggled into his husband, an idea flitted through his mind.

" Orochi-koi, are you asleep?"

"Not anymore, what is it?"

"maybe we should go on a vacation"

"A vacation?"

"yeah"

"Where?"

"Maybe to Sunagakure"

"urgh…sand gets into everything. "

Sasuke chuckled and said

"shall I persuade you?"

Orochimaru grinned slyly and reclined on their bed, as Sasuke crawled atop him.

Sasuke kissed Orochimaru softly, then trailed the kisses across the sannin's jaw and nipped at his pierced ear.

"are youi okay now?"

"hai, Orochi-koi"

"good"

"because, I'm already pregnant"

"nooooo!"

* * *

A/N:

That is definitely the end. It wasn't that great to being with,so I didnt want to mess with it further.

If anyone wants to take a crack at it,message me and let me know.


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